n#

Story Baton.

March 20th, 2007

Alien Invasion, by deadlyart

This is a continuation of the “story baton”
It’s an idea started by Yo of Lanetop fame. To read the first posts click here

I’m taking up the story where Indyana left off. You can read her excellent contribution here

Disclaimer: I’m not a writer. I don’t know how to write. This is not inspired by anything I’ve read because I don’t read. I don’t read because I suffer from a combination of poor eyesight and ADD.

Chapter 8: To pee or not to pee
(The Story Continues)
Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light. Shan blinked and stared at the girl in the doorway. At that very moment he realized that he had experienced something he couldnt explain.

Basically, Shan didn’t know anything. He had no idea about who he was and why he was here, clutching roses, knocking on someones door.

Shan concluded that the blinding flash was a gamma ray burst caused by a meteor impacting nearby which had wiped out his short term memory. Or long term memory. Or whatever area of his mind that stored useful stuff.

For a moment, staring at the somewhat pretty girl in the doorway, Shan contemplated the long term repucussions of memory loss, but eventually, he realized that he was becoming aroused.

At this point Shan was struck by a vicarious yet ironic realization that this alternate reality he was in was most definitely a PG (or PG13) reality.

The feeling passed, the fourth wall (or third wall) quietly repaired itself, and Shan continued staring at the girl. Right at the point where things were getting really awkward, Shan realized something odd.

The girl was also staring at him. She also had a very strange, somewhat confused expression.

Her confused and disheviled look led Shan to speculated that she too may have been affected by the gamma burst, and thus, may have also lost her memory (which would explain why she was staring at him). Either that or she was wondering why he was staring at her.

Leaving this conundrum aside for the moment, Shan’s mind idly speculated as to why his parents would name him Shan. Couldnt they have done better, he wondered.

“Er.. hello… I’m ….Shan.”

“Hi… er… I don’t know who I am” replied the girl, somewhat hesitantly.

After a few seconds (which seemed like an eternity in Shan’s mind) the girl suddenly opened the door and stepped aside.

“Please.. come in.. have a seat” She said indicating a nearby chair.

Shan cautiously sat down.

The girl sat down opposite him. For a moment they stared at each other with the open curiosity of childeren, or adults in a sick story who had lost their memory due to an inoppertune gamma ray blast.

Suddenly the girl burst out into giggles. Seeing shan’s strange expression, she explained..

“You know… Porn movies start this way”
“You.. watch porn?” Ventured Shan cautiously..

“We.. prefer to refer to it as Erotica”

“You mean there is a difference?”

“Yes. You see, Porn is just sex. Erotica is sex with lots of foreplay and a complex storyline”

Shan’s quietly experienced an epiphany as this bit of wisdom gently permeated his mind. He also experienced a sharp jab, as a mosquito bit him.

“Oww”

“Mosquito” he offered, by way of explanation.

“Shall I light a coil?” Asked the girl.

“No… its OK.. I’m allergic to them.. coils that is”

This brief exchange was followed by an awkward silence. As the seconds went by, Shan was aware of the various background sounds… the sound of a TV in a distance.. the click-whirr as the room AC switched on, the taos hum, and so on.

The seconds dragged into one minute, then another..

“What happened… I saw a flash.. after that… I… now.. I can’t remember who I am” the girl spoke, suddenly interrupting Shan’s train of thought (or lack of).

“I think something has happened, something that has wiped our short term memories. For example I know my name is Shan, I know how many loaves there are in a bakers dozen, and that the earth revolves around the sun, but I have no idea why I am here, where I live and so on..” Said Shan.

“you must have come here to see me? and the fact that you are holding roses indicates that you have romantic inclinations towards me….?”

“You seem to have a vehicle” the girl continued, indicating the keys he was clutching tightly, with the roses, which had now wilted somewhat.

Shan glanced down. “Oh cool. I have a car, that’s good to know”

“Check your pockets. Maybe you have a wallet? ID? Phone?”

Shan reached into his pocket and found a small rectangular object. It turned out to be a cellphone.

It was a somewhat ordinary phone. Turning it over idly, he spotted a camera lens.

“Hmm… a camera. Maybe the phone has photos… and they will give me a clue… like in Memento”

“You watched Memento”?

“Yes… At least I think I did. ”

The girl smiled.

“This is ironic…” said Shan.

“How so?” She ventured.

“Well here I am, in the prime of my life..”

“Or not…” Shan sadly ammended, noticing her staring at his buldging midriff “…but.. it seems a very awkward moment to loose one’s memory.. right when I appear to be about to get lucky -”

Suddenly, there was another flash.

The room was bathed in light. Two little grey colored men stood in the doorway.

“hi” said one. Telepathically.

“OMG. Aliens. Just what we need” said Shan.

“We come in peas” thought the first alien.

“Er… peace” corrected the second, noticing Shan’s perplexed expression.

“Though our ship is shaped like a pea”

“But we would have had to arrive in two ships for the first statement to be correct” thought the second.

“You are not going to probe us??” thought Shan, feeling a stab of worry.

“Nonsense” thought the first alien “We don’t probe people. It’s a misconception you people have from watching the X files.”

“Phew” thought Shan, relieved.

“But we will need your sperm. And her eggs” thought the first alien.

“hell no” said Shan aloud.

The first alien looked at the second “He says no”
“Are you sure?” wondered the second.

“Positive” said Shan.

Ah well, thought the second alien, as they both turned to leave.

“What, arent you going to tie me up and extract what you need” wondered Shan somewhat puzzled.

“Nonsense” thought the first. “Who do you think we are? Humans? we have morals. And dignity. And no means no.”

“Unless you are hot, drunk, and female” thought the first.

“Still no” thought the first, somewhat firmly.

“Lets try the next house” thought the second.

There was another flash, and the two aliens disappeared.

Phew. That was a close one, said Shan as he turned around to where the girl was.

And found himself staring at an empty chair, where she was seated just a few seconds ago.

“OMG” Thought Shan to himself. I’ve lost my memory, been visited by aliens who picked up the hot chick I was about to get lucky with, and now….

… “I need to pee”

Realized Shan, somewhat sadly.

Shan mentally paused, to compose a to-do note:
1. Pee
2. Find the girl
3. Recover lost memory.
4. Get laid

Shan wondered whether he should switch 3 with 2 but realized that finding the girl was probably more important than recovering his lost memory. Besides sex was possible, even with a lost memory. (in fact, this may make it better). Also, on a related note, the memory loss may have something to do with the aliens.

“So, if I find the aliens, maybe they can help me recover my memory.” Shan mused

“Wait.. they said they were going next door” Said Shan aloud, before remembering that he had decided not to think aloud to himself as that made people question his sanity.

After a brief internal struggle, Shan decided that finding the aliens (and recovering his memory) was probably more important than his immediate need to pee, which hopefully could wait..

With that decision made, he stood up and strode purposefully towards the door, before tripping over a small, solid, unmoving domestic cat, who happened to be in the way.

“Oh sh-” thought Shan right before his head hit the door and he blacked out..

(To Be Continued)
(At this point the story stops, to be continued by whoever wants to write it/is next on the list)

Entry Filed under: Misc